Monday 20 June 2016

20/6 Off Road Season So Far

According to Steve C the off road season starts on 1st June and so it did this year.
No more technical trail for Steve
Traditionally this starts with the Friday night ride round bewl . Also there are various greatweekend south downs rides organised by Steve.The trouble with Bewl is it is very often very wet unless there is a prolonged dry period .So I suggested Bedgebury.

It must amuse those who can be bothered to look at the tracks on Strava and see we go thesame direction over the same route week after week with only minor deviations. Thedifference is with bedgebury you have to concentrate all the time to avoid hitting trees or misjudging berms etc.

Three weeks now with variable attendance, three the first week , eight the second week, last week just me and Ivan

Steve makes no secret of the fact he loves bewl but finds Bedgebury single-track too technical (preferring the much wider tracks of the family trail) .Two weeks ago  myself and others persuaded him to have a go but unfortunately within 10 minutes he had managed to lose control and his left shin received a severe raking from the pedal pins, ouch!

Eventually Bewl should come back into good condition and then we will probably alternate between the two.

This report is just to gloat .Last Friday was great . The weather in Hastings was torrents of
rain. We went out to bedgebury anyway and by the time we got to robertsbrige the roads were
completely dry.

Ivan and I had nearly 2 hours of dry riding in the forest and the road riders got soaked.
Ivan had expected to meet the road riders for the usual beer at the Robert at nine but found he
was on his own. A quick call to drag Malc out solved that but it shows how localised rain can
be and always be optomistic when it comes to weather. It also proves MTBer’s get better
weather than road riders.

Anyway I got my comeupance when I entered the annual hastings harbour to pier and back
swim on Sunday. I have neglected my swimming for cycling and it took me 92 minutes and I
came last. Some of you may know Jamie L. He won it in 42mins!!! He has threatened to join
us at bedgebury on fridays so watch out.

Derek M

Thursday 16 June 2016

VELO HOUSE PRE BBR PART DEUX (the true story)


'Sing with a hula melody.... '

Albany Court,  Bexhill -  02:17 pm

(Actual transcript of text message sent to Neil Smith)

"1= Dog House
2=Sh@t House
3=Court House
4 =Doss House

I'm fast heading for stage 4! "

He sent me some words of encouragement, but I had to face up to the situation.

I had felt the vibrate on my phone tickling my a@se all the way down Wartling Hill and then along Sluice Lane. I knew it was unlikely that Vicki was phoning to see how I wanted my steak done this evening, but I clung onto that  forlorn hope....

Albany Court Bexhill - Friday 05 :18 pm

'So what you're saying then is that not only are you still cycling tomorrow, but you're even doing an extra long ride? You do know flat 1 has to be finished by Monday when the Estate Agent comes? '.

I was on the last of the flats which we're renovating before   turning over to private lets,  and I am going to France next Sunday.

' Relax, I'll be back by 12 30 and I'll still get all the  work completed '

I accompanied this with a ' tut' and an upwards flick of my head......

I decided to take stock of the situation :

I was knackered after a very hilly ride,  and due to my stubbornness I hadn't eaten anything since I had an energy bar at 10:30,  I still had to finish grouting the bathroom, and to make matters worse, the bit left to do was the bit behind the 'karzy' where it requires that I put my head almost down the pan (I wish I hadn't been so quick to get rid of the old seat), I also had to paint the bedroom walls, gloss all the woodwork, mastic everything and do a full tidy up. In addition, I really wanted to watch the England match tonight (that's going to go down like a lead balloon I surmised).

First things first. I knocked on David's door (the nice young man in flat 5)

'Got any food? '

' I've got a tin of beans with sausages in? (or as Neil would describe it - heritage pork with freshly picked  and lightly roasted, organic haricot beans in a rich Provencal  sauce)   '

'Perfect, I'm 'Hank Marvin ',  I replied.

In addition to my other woes I had the 'mother' of all 'ear worms' - Agadoo! - seriously, Neil had heard me murmuring it in the cafe and had expressed his displeasure. I set about my tasks with a ' heavy'  heart.

'.......... Jump up and down and to the knees

......ARGHHH! '

Normans Bay crossing  -  07:46

' Yeah, well,  f*** off then '

I heard Mal C' s dulcet tones advising Steve D what he should do if he chose not to join us - which he did decide to do in the end.

Neil cleared his throat...

'Before we leave, I'd like to quickly go through a risk assessment, so bare with me, chaps. Now I've been made aware that there is excessive sun spot activity at the moment which could play havoc with our Garmins and also at this time of the year there is a lot of randy butterfly activity, which could in turn leave to some extra  wind turbulence, you know, what with  all that mad flapping etc,? All I'm saying is let's just be aware and stay safe. Right let's get going! '
Close to home.

The first part of the ride, over the marshes to somewhere,  is very flat which allows for some social chit chat.

' Nigel's calves are very intimidating, don't you think?  ',  I said to Zac

' Yes, they are rather excessive ' he agreed.

Shortly afterwards Nigel himself pulled along side and we played a game of guessing who's an ' innie ' and who's an  'outie' (this is with reference to the EU referendum, not belly buttons - I hasten to add) among the other cyclists.

Nigel complimented me on my helmet and said he thought it looked great.  I told him that I had been getting a lot of  'stick' from Mr Baker, who thinks it's over-large, but I can now put this down to envy. Nigel said that he has two helmets with holes in, and although he doesn't find them very areo he did find them useful for straining cabbage.

After a while we encountered the first of the climbs, just near somewhere, and then it was relentless climbing all the way to the cafe.

Tom had a bit of a bitch and a whine over the amount of warning shouts. He feels that calls aren't neccasary when we are spread out - moot point and one worth discussing further.

There's no point going into the details of the ride to and from the cafe as Neil has already covered most of it in his excellent blog,but I would like to give my side of the story at the cafe :


'I'm sorry I thought for a minute there you said £8:40 ', I said to the gangster who was serving me.

leaving the Velo house.
' Yes that's correct sir', he replied

'OK, I'll just have a coffee then.

Neil did warn me, but £6.00 for an egg and bacon bap?

If I was really hungry I would have paid it, but fried food normally happens for me  at 12 ish on Saturday , 10:30 is a bit too soon after my porridge and prunes.

By the end of the visit I must admit I had warmed to the place, but my initial impressions weren't good : dirty tables, long wait for food,  and really bad acoustics. When I mentioned the noise issue Neil suggested they could line the walls with egg boxes!

Prices didn't worry Neil who ordered a 'veggie belly - buster'. I do like to see people enjoy their food, but not hear it. Neil grunted and groaned  his way through the trough of food like a rescued castaways enjoying his  first real meal  for a year.  He punctuated each mouthful with snorts and snuffles,  and the 'odd 'cor, this is lovely',  stopping occasionally to wipe congealed  bean juice of his chin with the back of his hand, and lifting his left buttock to let out some gas - thus proving  that at some archaic level,   at least, that  he grasped the concept of mannners - I was sitting to the right of him. Having cleared his trough, he sat legs outstretched, rubbing  his stomach.

'I think I need a while to let this lot go down',

He then turned on me :

' And will you stop humming that song, it's driving me made',  he said angrily.

Nigel had looked on in envy at Neil and Zac' s plates and instantly realised he had made a mistake in ordering burritos.  Tom was happy with his smoke salmon and scrambled eggs.

The ride back was tough and I was tiring fast  but it made slightly easier in the knowledge that I was on the homeward  leg.

I was glad that we had agreed on  regular regrouping as even with the new discovery of 'return to start' on my  Garmin I'm never really that confident of being on the right road.

I did enjoy the stretch over the marshes, back to Pevensey and managed to hang onto Nigel's wheel as he bridged across to Zac and Neil

At the garage I stopped to play my voicemail for the first time and agreed  to wait for Mal.

I bad him farewell at the Normans Bay crossing, where I made a phone call and then surprised him when I caught up with him again along Cooden Drive on my way to Albany Court.

I worked till 08 :30 when tiredness took over and then had to do another full day on Sunday.

Joking aside,  I think we all agreed,  Neil had led a hard but enjoyable ride , and one  I would be happy to repeat  again,  in the not too distant future.

Peter Buss



14/6 Two new riders for Tubby Tuesday

Keri invites James on  his first ever group ride
Another good turnout for the Tubbies on Tuesday but especially notable for the first appearance of road veteran Terry and newcomer James Freeston. James had come along on the invitation of keri. Apparently keri and Jame's older brother were born in the same maternity unit so Keri has known James's family literally his whole life.

James has been riding for a while but had never ridden with a group before so keri would be keeping a close eye on him.

Veteran  Roadie terry on his first Tubby Tuesday Ride
 Mick was in fine form and went ahead of the whole group on the way out to float lane but we were all back together for the wonderful  climb up float lane. James is very trim and despite this being his first group ride he showed great promise and could easily out ride most of the Tubbies.

Following good risk assessment practice I warned the newcomers about the poor condition of Pottery lane but it didn't seem so bad that night ,so we must be getting used to it.

Its always fun seeing how riders deal with Stonestile lane for the first time . The brave Terry was first onto the lower slopes and managed it easily. James was a bit more cautious and hung back a bit with the slower ascenders, he can definitely go a lot faster than this.

First ever Stonestile climbs for terry and James. 
With a tail wind on the way out and plenty of shelter on the way back it was always going to be a fast night and indeed myself and Mick got Pbs for the whole route and despite being out on his winter bike with thick winter miles, Gareth claimed the KOM.

Terry thought it was a lovely ride, so hopefully he will become a regular? James greatly enjoyed his first ever group ride and has now joined the club which is excellent news. I have already informed JV/Patrick that another potential sunday club rider has arrived

Steve C

Sunday 12 June 2016

Pre-BBR Special to Velo House Tunbridge Wells - Beam Me Up Scotty!

 “How much further?”
“Are there anymore hills?”
“I’ve no idea where I am.”

All this before we even left Normans Bay. I ask you, really. The two Geolexics in the group were behaving quite differently; one with calm maturity, the other like a headless chicken. Who is who will be come clear as the story of the ride unfolds.

Seven riders, with the late arrival of Nigel T, made for a good size group to test a new Pre-BBR Special route, taking a 50km ride that as much as possible avoided A roads and traffic. Our destination was the Velo House cafe and cycle shop in Tunbridge Wells. Having sampled a breakfast there in May I was keen to go again. I planned the route using Strava’s route planner, and very good it is too (www.strava.com/routes). Needless to say, all but two of the group loaded the route onto their Garmin, the person most in need of directions having been ‘too busy’ to do this.

Steve Denny rode past us at Normans Bay. “Are you joining us?” I shouted. “No, I’m not sociable” came the reply. Mal C made a robust reply to this as Tom N looked on. Steve changed his mind and joined us, presumably charmed by the rude response he had received. Newcomer Zac looked confused. “It’s quite simple, older males display affection by insulting each other.” He now looked dubious and I gave up explaining; just where do you start?

Greetings banter and bandinage finally complete, we rolled off for the simple flat start across the marshes, riding 12km or so through reed-lined lanes turning from winter brown to summer green as the new growth surges towards the sun. We kept our surges to a minimum, the aim being to stay together and to wait for each other when hills or other obstacles delayed us. The first slope of any significance was Cricketing Lane, called so for no reason that I can discern. We paused at the top and I explained the route.

“What did you say - where’s that?”
“We turn left at Cowbeech for Hammer Lane, then ride through Warbleton.”
“I’ve never been to Cowbeech.”
“Peter (for it was he), yes you have, you’ve ridden through it many times.”
“No I haven’t, honestly, never, I’ve got no idea what you’re talking about” and so on.
“Just be quiet and follow the rest of us.”

The gentler hills on the ride start from Cowbeech, rising steadily to the halfway point of the ride at Cade Street, before crossing the A265 and making a long, fast descent to a few kilometres south of Mayfield. From here, there is some serious ‘uppage’, greeted by some of the group with some equally serious ‘moanage’ at the top of the first climb.

Such healthy food
“You never said there would be hills.”
“Peter (for it was he again), where would one ride in East Sussex and not encounter a hill or two?”
“Well, you never said anything. Are there anymore hills?”
“Yes, there are more hills.”
“How many.”
“I DON”T KNOW!”

Nigel, the voice of reason, stepped in at this point to prevent violence.

“Peter, I think that if you look at the elevation profile on my Garmin, you will see that there are five more significant hills on the ride, as well a number of more minor climbs”, said Nigel pleasantly.

“Eh?”

Strava tells me there are more than 800 metres to climb from Norman’s Bay to Tunbridge, most of that over 38km or so.  Moderately stretching, I think. We pressed on and indeed more hills were encountered. The hill from Tidebrook to the B2100 is a category four climb, more because of length than steepness, although I was quite grateful for the compact chainset. Peter made good progress up this hill, perhaps spurred on by the thought of passing Davina McCall’s mansion.

All smiles for Malc
The sun had come out some time since and we basked in the light and warmth of June, gliding downhill past a blur of green, white and yellow, then grunting uphill with more time to appreciate the flowers and grasses of the verge, blurred now by the sweat dripping into our eyes. Ouch! The ride had a definite rhythm - downhill, uphill, downhill, uphill (repeat). There were no flat stretches, just the occasional slightly less steep bit here and there.

“How much further?”
“Not far Peter, maybe ten miles.” I lied, cruelly. Nigel, Mr Mature, stepped in again.
“Peter, my Garmin says we have approximately 6.6 miles left to go.”
“Eh?”

The route felt counter-intuitive at this point, as we passed a number of signs for Tunbridge Wells, but pressed on to the north east to avoid the busier roads. It adds very little to the route and works well; we saw little traffic on the upward leg. Once into Tunbridge itself, we met the usual traffic and encountered more pot holes and rough surfaces than we had in the country lanes. At this point, we were let down by Strava route planning. It said ‘straight on’, but this would take us through a pedestrianised area. We tacked left to the main roads, then right uphill to the A26. Velo House is just at the top, on the left by the roundabout.

Mal kept cycling, heading steadily towards London. Peter said “are we there yet?” It is not easy looking after Geolexics, I can tell you. Cycling locks are provided and we headed indoors for some posh Tunbridge nosh.

Tom tucks into breakfast
“I’m not paying that for an egg bap” shouted Peter at the poor waiter, having misinterpreted my line about ‘exotic Tunbridge Wells prices’ as something to do with lap dancers. He retired, grumbling, to the back of the cafe. Having made our orders, we joined him.

“Seriously, this is a shit cafe - there are screaming kids here, there is noise and the prices, well, the prices are outrageous, I mean who pays that for an egg bap, they’re only 2 shillings and 6 pence at the Pevensey Bakery, there is no carpet, I need a mortgage to eat here…”

I cut him short. “Peter, it is 2016, not 1956. I did warn you.”

“I’m not moaning, let’s just get that straight, but really, where the hell are we anyway - have we been abducted?”  At this point, I rather wish I had been.

We all agreed that the coffee was excellent and, as our various breakfasts appeared at the table, we agreed also that the food was delicious. Peter was slathering over the meals, clearly starving but too proud to order. I offered him a fried egg. “Shove your egg” was the reply. How rude!

The Baron Does Not Look Happy
“Your beans look congealed.”
“They are not congealed - they are artisan beans, handmade here in Tunbridge to a family recipe dating from 1547, they are delicious.”
“Those mushrooms look, well, odd to me. I mean, I don’t like mushrooms anyway.”
“Good, because you’re not having any of mine.”

I just wanted to eat in peace. I turned to Zac and we discussed the merits of vegetarianism, such as being slimmer, cleverer, better looking and more attractive to the opposite sex than most of our meat-eating friends. Zac commented that he generally felt less aggressive too.

“What are those potato things..?” chipped in Peter.
“Yes Zac, I agree”, I mumbled, somehow finding my hand wandering towards the cutlery with the idea of attacking Peter. Mal intercepted the knife thrust with a Ju Jitsu move.
“No, seriously, what are they, are they nice? See, I’m not moaning, I’m just asking a question.”

Having had a second coffee, the immediate exit from the Velo House was improvised to take account of not having plotted the return journey. Various attempts were made to reverse the route on Garmins. Mine failed to do this in any way that I could understand, so I relied on my unerring sense of direction to lead the group swiftly and safely away from the ‘Royal Borough’. Tom had drunk one macchiato too many and became a bit ‘chippy’, telling me off for over-communication. I thought I was being helpful, but apparently not and this was upsetting him. I was clearly doing something wrong, having had words with Peter and Tom, so I asked the voice of measured reason where he thought I was going wrong.

“Two things Neil: everything you say and everything you do.”  Well, that was me told and I had the feeling I'd heard that somewhere before.

It was all going so well, and then two smart-arses had to ruin it by saying ‘I think we should do this old-school, without the Garmins’ (me and Nigel). And so, within 30 seconds, all but one of the group were off-route. Mal C was nowhere to be seen. We immediately assumed that he was having a Geolexic episode and would turn up. We phoned him: ‘where are you’? ‘I’m on a hill’ came the reply. Great.

It eventually penetrated our thick collective skulls that perhaps Mal was on the right road and we were not. We retraced our steps, found a turning that looked promising and soon found Mal C too. He had worked out how to reverse the route on his Garmin and was not at all lost. We congratulated him on the excellent progress made in the treatment of his condition and rolled onwards and upwards…

We paused at Cade Street, the worst of the climbs now behind us.

“Will there be anymore hills at all, I mean, any at all?”

I felt strangely lightheaded, as if I might collapse and weep at any moment. I took control of my emotions and explained, with infinite patience, that ‘there would be more hills, but the worst of the hills were now done’.

“After all, you must know where you are?” I said, with hopeful upward inflection.
“Er, no, I’ve no idea” and I do believe he meant it.

After that, we blasted back to Normans Bay at a good pace, with Nigel beasting us across the marshes, the group reduced to him, me and Zac (Steve stayed in Tunbridge, having fallen in love with one of the waitresses; Tom branched off for Eastbourne; and Mal and Peter were doing their own thing). We held our own for a while, but Nigel’s superior strength shone through and we were left floundering. My legs, pummelled by the hills of south Tunbridge, were done in. Thankfully, I had a slow puncture and so could not ride on with Zac and Nigel to Galley Hill, turning instead for home at the Bexhill traffic lights. I made it to within 1km of home before I had to walk.

This is a great route with a bit of everything - flat blasts, rolling slopes, serious hills and very fast descents (I topped out at over 43mph on one hill). The Velo House is well worth a visit and the climbs provide a good challenge.

Safe riding, Neil

Friday 10 June 2016

7/6 Terrific Tubby Turnout

Paul definitely needs this training
last week we welcomed Paul Baxter back to the 'Tubby Tuesday Training' ride on a nice warm evening. Like the rest of us, Paul really enjoyed the new route.

This week we had a great turnout of 11 riders. For the first time this year , all the original 'Tubbies' , myself Gareth, Keri and Paul C were back riding together. It was also great to see JV  who is still battling with his winter wrist injury.

Keri is absolutely flying at the moment. He had been out earlier during the week and done some hard riding including multiple ascents of Stonestile lane . Once safely at the bottom of Battery Hill, he put in a terrific sprint and shot past everybody .Unfortunately  'The Prince Of Darkness' (Steve D) got a puncture at a round the same time, so the energetic Keri had to be called back.

The weather was not as great as last week, there were rumbles of thunder and before we reached Float lane, it started raining gently. Fortunately by the time we completed the lane, the rain had stopped. Hopefully it would now stay dry, otherwise we would have to give Pottery lane a miss.

We had a great mix of riders this week. 
At broad Oak we bade farewell to JV who decided it would be better for his wrist to stick to the main road . The rest of us headed off down Pottery lane, I was leading and made sure to keep the pace right down on the damp road. Having completed the descent we swept around a bend only to be confronted by a large tractor moving slowly along the lane. With warning shouts we had to break quickly and squeeze in through the left. We all made it safely and waved thanks to the driver who had stopped to let us through.  With the tractor moving again myself and Gareth were worried about Keri Paul C and Mick who were some way behind us. We waited while the others went off ahead. After a few minutes there was still no sign of them. Then we heard a muffled thump  somewhere in the distance. In a state of paranoia we imagined the awful sight of rider and tractor colliding. At this point Gareth dug out his mobile phone to phone Keri. Much to our relief Keri and Mick then appeared. they hadn't even noticed the tractor but had been delayed by Paul C having a slow puncture which forced him to take the more direct route home.

We now had the enjoyable climb between Sedlecombe and Westfield. There was some friendly competition  between us all ,which enabled Mick, Steve D, Gareth and Malc to all achieve PBs on the climb.

Having used up so much energy there were no PBs to be had on the Stonestile lane climb. It proved one ascent of Stonestile too many for keri who now paid the price of his earlier efforts and had to dismount with a bad stitch . Myself , keri and Malc decamped to the pub for a couple of beers. On the way home Keri was treated to the sight of a man hanging on his exes car by the windscreen wipes
 shouting out " please forgive me" (oh dear!)

Steve C

Thursday 9 June 2016

5/6 Firle Snake MTB

A warm HSLCC welcome to gavin
Our second South Downs  mtb  ride of the season and a notable one, as joining us off road for the first time was Andy L and recent new contact Gavin Eivers. Both turned up on new bikes but at opposite ends of the price range. Gavin was on an impressive Whyte T129 while Andy was on a much more modest Trek X-Caliper 7. Gavin was also sporting an impressive beard, something sure to give the likes of Gareth beard envy.

Paul finally makes it up Bo Peep
Things started off with easy flat riding along the drovers track towards Alfriston but we then had to ascend to Bo Peep car park on the road. Paul Bx was in front when suddenly with a cry of pain he ground to a complete halt halfway up the climb. His back had completely locked up and he couldn't move. Fortuitously Gavin is a sports physio and soon had Paul on the ground where he proceeded to stretch his legs and back in various positions to try to relieve Paul of the tightness in his back. After about 10 minutes of this Paul was able to remount his machine and had no trouble for the rest of the ride- good job Gavin.!

The grassy climb from Bishopstone
What goes up must come down so we enjoyed five miles of glorious decent down towards Bishopstone but then had to grind our way back up to the SDW along grassy terrain towards Black Cap farm. After last weeks experiment with a giant saddle, this week I was on a specialised Toupe which was much more comfortable but not quite as long, so I could quite keep my front wheel down on the steep grass. Andy had no such trouble and despite being on flat pedals he managed to grind his way to the top without dismounting. I had never noticed before just how out of proportion Andy'y body is. He's only about 5'10 but has size 11.5 feet and massive calves that would not be out of place on some 6'5 rider. Those calves produce a lot of low speed torque making Andy a natural Off- Roader. Gavin was also going really well despite only recently from switching from semi-pro rugby to cycling due to injury (a common story although its normally ex runners that the club attracts)

Full suspension really comes into its on on those fast chalky descents that the Downs are famous for . So while Paul and Gavin glided down Itford Hill, myself and Andy had to rely on our legs for bracing before we reached Rodmell and a chance to refill our bottles at the convenient water tap.

Watch where you are going Andy!
Paul is yet another geolexic rider and gets twitchy whenever we come of the SDW but I have faith in my two garmins which successfully navigated us to the mysterious valley know as the Woodingdean Snake.  This is one of my favourite parts of the Downs and pretty remote. We only discovered it a couple of years ago despite ridng for over two decades on the Downs. There were hundreds of sheep on the hillside so the whole valley echoed to the sound of lambs and mothers bleating. T
 he climb out of the valley is long but the most perfect gentle angle, making it one of my favourite climbs.

Our refuelling stop was at Anne of Cleeves house in Lewes where there is brilliant little cafe and garden (so much nicer than the more commercial cafes in the town centre). All that was left was the climb over Mount Caburn . To get there we had to ride up the supersteep section of road up to the golf course. With hearts beating we arrived at the top but had trouble finding the preferred right of way. Eventually we had left the golf course behind . The tracks are quite indistinct around here but all of them head downwards so we chose one at random which did eventually take us to Glynde although I would try to give that rocky path a miss in future.

Back at Firle we enjoyed the usual sight of all the well to do locals struggling to find space for their Chelsea tractors in the Firle car park. This was another fun day out and so nice to have two new mtb riders to add to our little sub section of HSLCC.

Steve C

Wednesday 8 June 2016

4/6 Part Deux- Grooving With Mr T

'We're having a trial separation! '

Patrick had anticipated my obvious question.

Seeing just one ' Fun Chum' was a bit like seeing just one Ronnie for the first time  or Mr Wise without Mr Morecombe ; Oh, the pathos.

'He's in New York '

' So are you 'Skping'?, I asked

' Nope '

' Facetiming? '

' Nope '

' We're having a clean break '

I suppose being ' Fun Chums ' is maybe not all it's cracked up to be, but I must admit I do like a man with a good SOH (or woman - more about this later.)

07:47 Normans Bay crossing

On leaving my house I was met by Tom who had arrived early and had been to look at the sea while he was waiting.

Gathered at the crossing were: Nick, Gary and Simon Tyler ,  whom despite following and exchanging pleasantries on Strava,  I had never actually met before.  I very quickly noticed that his bike was a bit extraordinary - matt black finish, gold components and made of steel.

The Baron finally gets to meet Simon T
'What is it? ',  I enquired

He then gave a brief overview, explaining that it was hand made in America and pointing out some of the main features.

' So what about the socks then? '

It amazes me that you would accompany the 'coolest' looking bike on the planet with a pair of hooped pink socks - a bit like Johnny Depp wearing socks and sandals! - still, who am I to criticise?  ; I forfeited this right when I started wearing Oakley Racing Jacket 'shades'.

Just as we were about to leave Steve D appeared.

'I thought I would try to be sociable and come out with you lot '.

He does his best but I don't think he finds it easy - still it's nice that he's making an effort and I'm always pleased to see him.

We 'rocketed'  up Sluice Lane and I must admit I was feeling a bit uncomfortable with the pace ; the trouble with leaving from my house is that I don't get much of a warm up and I was pleased when we encountered the road works at Pevensey. I did discover that I wasn't the only one and afterwards we resumed at a reduced pace.  Whilst waiting for the lights to change Nick spotted Simon's gold chain.

'Shouldn't you be wearing that around your neck? '

Quite amusing that.

Myself and Nick shared most of the lead until at the start of the climb up Beachy, Tom, who had been having a late breakfast at the back and feeling well rested wiped a crumb of muesli off his chin and eased himself past to catch Nick and they then had a private KOM battle to the top - apologies if I've got this wrong but I think Tom took top honours.

I was pleased to come in third and on passing Steve D couldn't resist a  sarcastic:

Another successful ascent of Beachy
'Cheers for waiting for me Steve '.

I know it's the lowest form of wit, but sometimes it just feels good.

On the way back we got a bit spread out going through the Pevensey road works ; I showed my superior local knowledge by bypassing them along the foot path - Gary seized the moment and followed my lead. We were feeling a cross between smugness and guilt as we entered Sluice Lane, but we needn't have worried because Nick, Tom  and Simon caught us up (not sure what happened to Steve), we 'stormed it'  back to Di Paolos, taking turns on the front. Along Cooden Drive Nick 'cracked' :

'I'm fading now',  he gasped.

He had shown a lot of grit  by taking more than his fair share on the front and had 'buried' himself chasing after us after our shortcut.

Simon and Tom got to the lights a fraction ahead of me. I checked my Garmin: 18.5 mph Avg speed ; including Beachy,  not too bad.

The colonel washes down another breakfast
Chris P was already there tucking into his scrambled eggs and recommended we sit outside.   Loads of people arrived, including Darren with his new Trek 'dream machine'.  What with all these super bikes appearing I'm starting to feel like I'm turning up on a rusty old bedstead. I loved my TCR from the first time I rode it and  I still do, but the desire to get a new bike is always there.  As I can't justify buying a new one yet my only hope is that,  like beards and Donald Trump, matt  black  is only for 'now'  and the phase will soon pass.

Chris P did his best to determine who was doing what ride, but there  was a definite air of anarchy as we set off. I love the 'Classico' route, but I think some people are concerned about taking their new bikes down Horsewalk - understandably so. (As it transpired only Tom, Sue 'nice, but slightly scary'  Landy and Finlay (or Fabian, sorry I still get confused) accompanied me.)

I was feeling strong and arrived in third place on Boreham Hill (yes. yes I know it's not a race, but let's face it we're all a bit competitive) after that we split into 'classico' and 'non-classico' groups.

Tom and I were at the front over the marshes and had great fun playing 'cat and mouse' and imagined we were at the velodrome. Everytime Tom made a break I caught him up quickly and goaded him with calls of :

'Is that the best you can do? '

Nearly time to go.
Eventually he did make a break, but only because I got stuck behind a car! Also, it has to be said that Finlay (Fabian) caught him and then passed him.

At a Chilley we played a game where I was ' it',  Tom and Sue, ganged up on me.

Mid  cheese and marmite  scone (yuk!) she turned on me after I had made  a very innocent comment

' Don't you ever stop moaning?,  all you ever  do is moan! '

Oh, the injustice and the hurt.

' Well, really! This is the first time we've even had a conversation '

' Yes, but even when I'm at the back and you're up ahead all I hear us moan, moan, moan! '

Tom joined in :

' Yeah, you do moan a  lot '

The more I tried to defend myself the more they turned on me.

Sue had one of her paws on my tail and was whacking me with the other one.

Eventually she got bored and let me go and I scurried away under a bush.

' I was only joking' she said, 'you'll soon get used to my sense of humour'

Neil had admitted that he was a bit scared of her when on the way back from Beachy a few weeks ago  she had put him in no doubt that she had expected him to wait for her.

' You will wait for me and will not go racing off - do I make myself clear? '

Neil understood perfectly and was waiting in obeyance, head bowed,  at the side of the road.

I do wonder what that box is under her saddle?. Just before Boreham Hill she offered to link it up with Patrick's Garmin - he wisely declined or ignored the offer. It has lights that flash in sequences proven to bring on seizures and emits an audible hum. She claims it warns of traffic approaching from behind, but I think there is a lot more to it than that - take my advice don't stare at it for too long.

As always, the Pre BBR followed by the BBR is a great combination - the word is going around and we get good turnouts on both rides.

Peter Buss


Thursday 2 June 2016

30/5 Butts Brow Bash MTB

Our first mtb ride of the 2016 season and the first time we have ridden off road with Ed who sadly is leaving Hastings for Bristol come August.

Butts Brow Bash is always the first mtb ride we start with, simply due to it being so easy to get to. In no way does this make it easy though as with a hill density of 119 feet/mile this is hillier than any local road ride (even worse than Mad Jack Audax)

This was going to be a tough test for Paul Bx whose lack of rides during the Winter/Spring has resulted in his current weight of over 15 stone.

To save a few quid we all parked near the bottom of Butts lane rather than the pay and display car park at the top. I am not sure this is a a good idea as Butts brow is the steepest hardest hill climb I have ever done and doing it with 2 inch knobbly tyres and cold legs was extremely hard. It was a relief to reach the top and I had to wait a minute for my heart rate to calm down before leading the descent down to Friston forest.

There is a nice very long non technical climb that took us up above the long man. From here its a fast tricky decent down to Jevington. Care needs to be taken as the path is rocky with great lumps of chalk and clay . This is not a bridleway you want to be on when there is even a hint of dampness but today the trail was thankfully bone dry.

Alfriston is a well known MTB hub with a variety of bridleways branching off in different directions. We took the main path up the SDW so had an arduous 3 mile climb up to the Firle Beacon.

Now came the pleasure of a 4.5 mile fast descent on grassy tracks all the way down to Bishopstone. Peter Baker particularly enjoyed this and was whooping with delight.

Pete wonders if all this tubeless set up is worth it?
Paul picked up a puncture on route . The sealant in his tyre failed to fix the leak and so a spare inner tube had to be fitted (is tubeless worth it?).

We now had the long climb up to Bo Peep car park. Despite the height gained this climb is quite gentle being on firm relatively smooth tracks.

Rather than sticking to the SDW we took the Drovers Track down to Alfriston. Even in summer this can get a bit muddy. Today it wasnt too bad but there was one flooded section which plastered all our bikes with mud and one rooty section that was tricky to get over.

Rooty section along Drovers Track to Alfriston
A well deserved refuelling stop at the expensive but very nice Badger tea shop set us up for the final leg of the days outing.

Firstly we had to climb back up the longman. The first part of this climb is one of my least favourite bits of track as the ground is full of large stones, roots and gulleys making it difficult to keep the front wheel down. I was on a new saddle with extra long rails. This had the advantage of pushing my weight further forward. I could really feel the benefit to my climbing as I managed to stay in the saddle for longer than usual.Unfortunately the saddle doesnt fit the shape of my arse and my backside was feeling like tenderised steak so this is going back in the reject box. Jamie is riding a fabulous Giant XTC Adavanced carbon bike which he purchased new recently. This is an incredible value light weight carbon hard tail which I have my eye on as a future replacement for my alloy On- One Scandal.

Reaching Jevington we waved goodbye to Jamie and his XTC and set off up the 7% climb from Jevington to the top of Butts Brow. This hill is much more enjoyable, keeping the wheel down was no problem as we ground our way up to the top.

I was glad to get the first mtb ride of the seaon completed. I feel in better shape than this time last year so look forward to many more enjoyable rides over the summer.

Steve C